He thought the lesson might do him good, in a positive way. He thought Old Wang was too nice to be a boss while Young Wang too awful to be a good boss. He thought it could be worse. He thought at least he wasn’t fired. He thought he should be grateful to have a shelter. He thought he couldn’t be luckier than having the chance to work. He thought there was no better choice than hope.
He thought and rethought, he was alive.
He rethought about his position and how to do a better job in the future. It took him a year to realize that no work was eff ortless, no money comes from nowhere. As a matter of fact, he came to feel that his current job was more tiring than farm work. Being a guard required more brain and the risk was greater, especially in a changing place. Very often a guard like father couldn’t see much of the sky. As time went by, his mind narrowed and his vision confined to a specifi c sound or even a tiny object like the gate control. He had to stay alert all the time, and more alert after the incident. It had a worse eff ect than being robbed. He felt as if the shit would happen as the headline in his everyday routine. He could never sleep well. And during his night shift, he could no longer close his eyes, not even blink. He fought for the darkness as much as the light.